During Army Air Cadet training, Nate had a childhood leg injury (osteomyelitis) flare up, dashing his hopes and dreams of becoming an Army pilot. He tersely recorded his sentiments about the medical checkup and ensuing hospitalization. “The doc says I can’t fly for the Army and that’s that!” 1 “In the following days pending hospitalization,” he told a friend several years later, “I fought bitterly to surrender my monster will to the One I knew it belonged to. The attempt was a failure, and I slumped into a sort of dazed numbness, not caring much for anything.” 2
After the disappointment of not being able to fly for the Army, Nate decided that “he would probably follow his brother into commercial aviation after the war was over.” However, while stationed at Fort Wayne, Indiana, he sought out the Zoller Gospel Tabernacle in Detroit and attended services as he was able. It was there at a New Year’s Eve service in 1944 that Nate finally and fully surrendered his “monster will” to the Lord. In his own words he describes that night’s decision of surrender:
A joy, such as I had never known since the night I accepted Jesus’ forgiveness for my sins, seemed to leave me almost weak with gratitude. I was completely relaxed and happy again. The verse that fitted itself to my thoughts was the one that says, “And they found the man…sitting…clothed, and in his right mind.” The old life of chasing things that are of a temporal sort seemed absolutely insane, once the Lord had shown me the new plan.
“I’ve always believed that if the Lord wants a guy in full-time service on the mission field,” he soon wrote to his mother and sister, “He would make him unbearably miserable in the pursuit of any other end. So, methinks the aircraft industry has suffered the loss of a ‘big operator’ and the Lord has won for Himself a ‘li’l operator’.”
Jungle Pilot, Chapter 6, p. 75-76
On January 15, 1945, Nate wrote to the Christian Airmen’s Missionary Fellowship (original name of the Missionary Aviation Fellowship) requesting more information about their ministry and offering his services. In that letter he stated:
“Have just finished reading your article in The Sunday School Times and feel that it was sent to me as a definite answer to prayer. Last New Year’s Eve in a watch-night service I responded to the missionary challenge. Have been interested in missionary work for some time but the Lord owned only my finances. He now has my life.”Jungle Pilot, Chapter 6, p. 77-78
Surrendering your will completely to the Lord and following His plan for your life is an ongoing struggle in the life of every child of God. Although sin’s power has been broken at the cross of Calvary (Romans 6:6-11), every Christian still wages a daily battle against the sinful nature that is still present within (Romans 7:14-23). It is a battle of allegiances that seeks to determine the ruler of your heart and the subsequent path of your life. It is a daily, and often moment-by-moment battle of selfishness versus submission. In the end, a conscious choice is made about who you will serve — your selfish, natural, sinful tendencies, or God and His Word. In the end, the ultimate question will be decided — who am I living for?
There is probably no time in life that this becomes more glaringly evident than when a Christian is looking ahead to his life’s vocation. It is in these times that the enticement of personal desires and ambitions is especially strong, and it is in these times that the heart reveals what it truly values most. For Nate Saint this was especially true as he fought bitterly against giving up his ambition of being an Army flyer, even when his dreams were shattered by a medical condition. His battle with surrendering his “monster will to the One [he] knew it belonged to” highlights several key truths about surrender that every Christian would do well to remember in the ongoing struggle to submit our will to God’s.
It is illogical for a Christian to not surrender his will to God’s
Romans 12:1-2 describes the complete surrender of a believer as “reasonable service.” The word “reasonable” is the Greek word logikos which means “agreeable to reason” or “rational.” It is also the etymological root for our English word logical. Thus the argument Paul is making in Romans 12 is that presenting our bodies a living sacrifice to God (aka, fully surrendering to Him) is logical and rational — it makes sense for a believer to do this. In writing to the Corinthians, Paul also connected surrender to a proper understanding of God’s love for us. God’s love as shown through Christ’s sacrifice for us on the cross of Calvary should motivate me to no longer live for myself, but for “Him which died for [me] and rose again.” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15)
If it is logical, reasonable, and rational for me, as a child of God, to surrender my will to God’s will, then the inverse is also true. There is nothing more irrational than a Christian who accepts God’s free gift of salvation and then lives for himself and his pleasure instead of the One who bought Him. It is only a heart by self that sees living for self as perfectly logical. A heart that is ruled by the Holy Spirit understands that surrendering to God is the only way of living that makes sense. Nate Saint came to realize this truth when he finally surrendered to the Lord and recorded that “The verse that fitted itself to my thoughts was the one that says, ‘And they found the man…sitting…clothed, and in his right mind.’ The old life of chasing things that are of a temporal sort seemed absolutely insane, once the Lord had shown me the new plan.”
You can’t bargain with God on the matter of surrender — it is all or nothing
Nate Saint admitted in his letter to CAMF that for a while “the Lord owned only my finances. He now has my life.” Often when confronted with the truth about surrender, we try to bargain with God by offering something else or a part of our life. It may soothe our conscience and assuage some of the guilt, but it doesn’t please God. There are no treaty negotiations with God. The only thing acceptable is full surrender. While God does want our finances too, He pleads with us as King Solomon did with his own son, “give me thine heart.” (Proverbs 23:26). Why? Because if God has your heart, then He has all of you — finances included.
While not using the word “surrender,” the phrase “wholly followed the Lord” perfectly captures the essence of full surrender to God. What is interesting is that every time the phrase appears in the Bible (five times total) it is applied to Caleb (Numbers 32:12, Deuteronomy 1:36, Joshua 14:8-9, Joshua 14:14). It is amazing that this is the legacy of Caleb that God chose to immortalize in His Word. Unlike the other ten spies who entered Canaan, Caleb submitted to God’s plan and surrendered his will to God’s will. This is what gave him the courageous faith to oppose the majority and boldly declare that they could take the land of Canaan. Yes, he had great faith, but his faith was a product of his surrender and submission to God’s will.
Peace and joy only come when your will is surrendered to God’s
Nate recorded two key thoughts about the matter of surrender — 1) he experienced joy like never before when he finally surrendered his will to God; and 2) he was absolutely miserable until he did. This is not an experience unique to Nate Saint. Every believer who has fought the will of God knows how miserable life is apart from God. It is only in surrendering your will to God that life then has purpose, meaning, joy, and fulfillment.
But what if I’m miserable doing God’s will?
What if God wants me to do something that I don’t enjoy?
One of the greatest truths of the Word of God is found in Philippians 2:13 which states, “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” As we surrender our will to God, He begins to change our desires to be what He wants them to be. God works in me to will, to want to do His good pleasure. My desires change as I surrender to God and grow in my love for Him. What He values, I begin to value. What He desires, I begin to desire. Psalm 37:4 continues this truth by stating, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” God delights to give me the desires of my heart when my desires match His. So, not only does God give me the righteous desires when I surrender and delight in Him, but He then allows those same desires (which He put there) to be fulfilled! In other words, you cannot be miserable in the will of God because you are desiring and doing exactly what God wants.
Conclusion
There is much that could yet be written about full surrender and submitting your will to God’s, but I conclude with this stanza from the chorus “For Me to Live is Christ” by John White:
There is no peace, no joy, no thrill
Like walking in His will,
For me to live is Christ, to die is gain.
This was excellent! Thank you for writing this and sharing it. Touched my heart and stirred my soul!